WARNING: Personal Rambling Below

Yesterday I received feedback from my A paper writing professor. One of his comments was particularly painful because I realize the comment was not just a critique of my paper, but indicative of a larger problem in my education and thinking. He commented that I “really bought the alternative dispute resolution mantra hook, line and sinker.”

I think I lack quality critical thinking skills. I remind myself of my Chinese students, who never seriously questioned the propaganda of official governmental newspapers. I would always tell them not to take what they read at face value, but to think about the arguments and potential flaws. Yet, here I am in law school, taking too much of what I read at face value. I have a hard time cutting through the fluff, isolating the true argument, and identifying weaknesses.

Why do I have a hard time evaluating the merits and flaws in academic writing? Am I alone in this? I have thought of two possible explanations for my educational weakness. First, I am not yet smart enough or well-read enough. Second, this problem originated because of my unique upbringing and my primary education. (It is probably a combination of the two).

Reason one: I believe I am fairly well educated and relatively intelligent, but I do not spend enough time reading academic journals and books. If this is the cause of my weakness in thinking, then it can be cured by continuing education and a stronger commitment to independent study. There is hope.

Reason two: Let me explain a bit, and please take what I write with a grain of salt. I was raised in a very religious setting (both in my home and in my community). As a child I was taught that there are certain absolute truths and I should not really question them. I was taught to take my religious teachings and scripture at face value. Now, as I got older I had to question my religious views and come to individual understanding of and belief in religious doctrines—which I did. However, there was a certain amount of “propaganda” in my early education. (I don’t want to propagate the idea that Mormon kids are brainwashed. We aren’t. To a certain extent, I think all children are told to believe things “just because.” As we get older, we fill in the “just because” when we can grasp difficult concepts.) If this is the reason for my educational weakness, then there still is hope. Everyone has to learn to critically think. I may have started my critical thinking at a later stage than most students, but there is no reason that I can’t catch up. I’ll just have to try harder. Somehow I’ll have to catch up between now and when I turn in my final draft of my A paper.

So, there you have it. I am suffering through a not-quite-mid-life educational crisis.