CHANGING OIL

A good friend went to a quick-change place and had a horrible experience. I am not terribly surprised. I thoroughly enjoy going to these quick change places and toying with the "mechanics." My favorite is the PCV test. Often they come in with a shiny little silver piece of metal and say, "Your PCV valve is bad, and you need to have it replaced. We have one in stock and it will only be 45 dollars." Of course if you don't replace it, you will get bad gas mileage, you will have terrible emissions, you could get serious engine damage, you might be liable to any passengers for hydrocarbon exposure, you could be liable for the breakdown of the mideast peace process, etc...

I enjoy responding with a small test. If they can tell me what a PCV valve is (specifically what the PCV stands for), what its purpose is, and how they know it is bad, then I will indulge their pseudo-mechanic wishes and allow them to change it out.

Anyway, my friend had his transmission fluid changed (because if he didn't, it would surely start a spiral of events leading to the breach of the Hoover Dam) and they didn't reconnect a return hose correctly. This was not an operation that required tools, we were able to fix it with only our hands. What does that say about their "mechanics" that a couple of geeky law students were able to reconnect it without any trouble.

Anyone who has been to these places know my other favorites as well. "You need a new radiator cap." "Your air filter is so bad I am surprised your car even runs." "You definitely need to have your radiator flushed because it is just about to rust out and when that happens the engine will fall out of your car." "Your belt has more cracks in it per inch than the manufacturer allows, you need a new one." Curiously, there are never any suggestions on major work that needs to be done. I think it is somewhat telling that you never hear, "You are going to need your main seals replaced, and we have those in stock now."

Oh well, I will continue to go because it is easier and cheaper than doing it myself. I just wish they would take the effort used in finding quick and easy things to replace on the car and put that effort into finding a me a donut while I wait.